Getting a life

On a similar note to what Dish has written recently, my plans for the summer and God's plans for the summer seem to have been two separate things. I started work today, however it was not at my uncle's office two hours away in the mountains, but about 15 minutes down the road at a hotel. Although I would have preferred to work for my uncle, I am dealing well with the change of plans. We'll see if the reason for the change is revealed anytime in the near future, or if it's one of those things where we don't/aren't capable of see/ing the reasons.

At this point, anything to get me out of the house is welcome. I've been pretty pathetic lately. I haven't left the house much. I'm not even sure how I'm able to fill the days, but some how I manage. I'm a little jealous-- it sounds as if all of you are having so much fun over there. Hopefully having a job will help me get back on track in the "getting a life" category. I'm going mad being around the house all day.

I have been doing a bit of reading and came across this prayerfrom a book called Prayers Old and New sent to me a while back by a priest friend of mine . It was marking my place in a book I had started before I left for Scotland and have recently picked up again. I love it and I thought I'd pass it along. Father, draw us out of base content.

Our High Calling
Our Father, who has set a restlessness in our hearts,
and made us all seekers after that which we can never fully find;
forbid us to be satisfied with what we make of life.
Draw us from base content,
and set our eyes on far-off goals.
Keep us at tasks too hard for us, that we may be driven to Thee for strength.
Deliver us from fretfulness and self pity
make us sure of the goal we cannot see, and of the hidden good in the world.
Open our eyes to simple beauty all around us,
and our hearts to the loveliness men and women hide from us because we do not try enough to understand them.
Save us from ourselves, and show us a vision of a world made new.
May thy Spirit of peace and illumination so enlighten our minds that all life shall glow with new meaning and new purpose;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.

Rugby?!

I just woke up at about 10:30 and this is the dream I remember from last night. I was with my whole family somewhere, maybe a mall--we were going to a lot of different stores and things. Finally we decided to eat, so we went to a restaurant to eat. We ended up sitting at a really long table and then later a British(they were from all over Britain) rugby team joined us at the other end. I ended up talking to some of them and learned that one of them was from Bangor. He had a little yellow and black flag that said 'Bangor' on it. I asked one of his teammates if his surname was Meeke. It wasn't though.

Dreams have always intrigued me and I think it's interesting to analyze them, but I usually never get too far with them. I don't remember a lot of my dreams anyway, so it's a difficult task. Here goes for this dream. I have no idea why a rugby team. I have only seen one rugby match in my life and it was the club team at the university in my hometown. I think I remember the coach being Scottish actually though. I think over all the long table with people from all over Britain on one end and my family on the other, with me sitting in the middle of the two would be my desire to bring these two worlds of mine together in one place. Anyone else want to take a shot?

On a separate, but still relevant note, I think I am losing my Aly-esque pronounciation of 'banter.' I was just practicing it outloud to myself, but it doesn't seem to be the same. What a sad day it is! I may have to ring her soon to get a refresher course.

Three Random Paragraphs and a Picture

You're reading the blog of a newly accepted Master's student at the University of Denver's Graduate School for International Studies. This means I get an extra year to figure out what I'm doing with my life, another year before I actually have to enter the real world. And as my mom reminds me, another year of student loans. Can you put a price on your education though? I think not.

I went to see my dad this weekend. It was Father's Day here too. I'm not sure how exactly I'm realted by blood to my dad's side of the family. It's like going to an alternate universe. Nonetheless we had a pretty good time. They live four hours south of me and I love the drive. It's pretty much my favorite part of the state, probably of the whole country. Here's why...


Here's what I should be doing--unpacking from Scotland and from Vegas. Here's what I've been doing-- a lot of nothing. I did get my email inbox down to about 60 from 130 yesterday, but that's about it. So I should probably get to doing something productive and change out of my pajamas since it's 1:00 here.

Sin City

I'm not sure what to think of Las Vegas. It intrigues me and disgustes me all at the same time. The architecture and decadance is amazing. Going to Vegas is like seeing Italy, Egypt, New York, and France all in a five mile radius. But the amount of money thrown away and the degredation of both sexes is disturbing. I will admit, I lost $20 but it was given to me for the purpose of gambling and I stopped when it was gone.

Overall I had a good time. My family is hilarious. We stayed at the Stratosphere Hotel, which is the highest structure west of the Mississipi River and home to the world's highest Starbucks. It's got a great view of Las Vegas from the top. There's also these crazy amusment park type rides at the top of the tower (somewhere around 105 stories). I'm pretty sure I'd die of fright if I rode them. I don't like doing things like that even when I'm on the ground.


We all went to Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum as well. This is how much we (Americans) like the British, well, at least your royalty. There were two wax figures of Lady/Princess Diana. One of them was in a room called Spirit of America with former American presidents, Martin Luther King, Jr. and some astronauts. Elvis was the only other person with two figures was Elvis. Here's me with Las Vegas resident Andre Agassi--my favorite tennis player! My aunt made me touch him...weird.

My favorite activity was the Guggenheim Museum at the Venetian. They had a Peter Paul Rubens and his contemporaries exhibit which was pretty good. I've never seen much of his work, so it was a good opportunity. Like I said before, art is good for you. I'm now inspired to have a creative summer. Maybe we'll do a little painting...

Three days is enough in Vegas though and I won't be ready to go back for some time. All of the lights and noise are a little over stimulating and there are way too many crazy people about. It messes with your mind. My mom had me go to the super market today. I had to go back twice because I forgot milk. Pathetic really. I'll just blame it on Vegas.

Sundays

I kind of miss Sundays at St. Silas. Man, they were good. I was recounting to my mom last night about Sundays at St. Silas. The midday adventures having lunch at Curlers or playing in the park, or where ever else the wind would take us, then the pub and church of course. I have grown up in an Episcopal church here. It's much more traditional than St. Silas. We sing a lot of old hymns, which can be good, but can also be pretty lathargic. My priest is pretty good, but he was an undercover cop in Southern California for a long time, so he's a little militant at times. I kind of miss David's jeans and black fleece. I've grown up here though, so it's home, and I've received a very warm welcome home, but St. Silas is great.

I suppose my homecoming has given me a taste of what the parable of the Prodigal Son is all about. Imagine though how much more God loves us. I didn't run off and waste my inheretence and then come home only after I'd hit rock bottom, so my warm welcome back is not so suprising. Yet, there has been no killing of the fatted calf or feast like there was for the Lost Son. That's just hint at how much God loves us, that even with the broken and sinful lives we lead, he throws a party when we return to him, repenting and humbled.

I'm headed to Las Vegas way too early tomorrow morning (my Uncle Tim is pretty excited and decided that a 7am departure was a good idea), so I'll be gone for a few days. My family (that would be my grandparents, my aunt and uncle, and our family friend Deb) is taking my cousin Justin and I to Vegas to celebrate our 21st birhtdays. It should be a good time, but really hot, even hotter than here. I've blogged way too much in the last few days, but I miss you guys so much. Anyway, there's plenty of material for you to peruse until my return. Bon chance to the medics as they take their exams.

The Craic Experiment

The purpose of this experiment is to document the reactions of my American friends and family to 'craic.' As you can imagine it's had mixed results. My friend, Erica, was slightly concerned for my mental and physical health and was worried about the type of friends I'd made since she left Glasgow in December. After I offered an explanataion she still was not impressed and it's not likely that she'll be incorporating 'craic' into her vocabulary.

On the other hand, my little sister, Christie, has fully embraced 'the craic.' Her summer job is as a receptionist at a hotel. The other night she was checking in a guy who was obviously not American, so her co-worker asked him where he was from. It turns out that he is from Northern Ireland. Christie proceeded to ask him 'what's the craic?' As you can imagine, the guy was pretty impressed to hear such a phrase so far from home. I guess he and my sister exchanged the craic for a few minutes before he finally went to his room. I think she was pretty proud of herself for knowing some European slang.

That Easy, Peaceful Feeling

My mom just had surgery, so I've been playing nurse maid. Her being laid up also means that I have to drive the Mustang, since our other car is a manual trasmission and I don't know how to drive those (amazing, I know, but not all that uncommon in the States.) Darn. I've come up with a few requirements for riding in a convertable over the last few days. First, your hair has to blow, at least some of it. I do tie half of mine back so that it doesn't blind me and, well, we won't think about what might happen next if I didn't. The second one is the music. It has to be good convertable music. I don't really have strict guidelines for this, but you just know if it's good or not. So far I've experimented with Bruce Springspreen (The Rising) and The Eagles (probably their greatest hits album). Both have proven to be pretty good choices. My mom thinks Savage Garden is good, but I beg to differ on that one. I'm open to any further suggestions.

This morning I took a little joy ride and drove over a mesa that sits on the south side of my town--one of my favorite places, after stopping by my favortie bakery to pick up a wee treat. I took some photos for you to see. They're not the best, because, well, I took them while I was driving. It probably wasn't the best idea I've ever had, but I didn't actually look at the screen and there wasn't much traffic, so it wasn't too stupid. I don't advise this during your driving test, Michelle. Enjoy...


The bit sticking up is called Mount Garfield, the rest fo the mountains around it are the Bookcliffs. It's not actually going downhill... NB Blue skies.










Peach Orchards.




Again, Mount Garfield, with vineyards and orchards in the foreground. I took this one last summer.

Home

The question of home is an interesting one at the moment for me. I know I have one, maybe even two. It was an odd sensation driving the 5 minutes from my grandparents' house to mine the other night. These were familiar roads, but they seemed so different. I had to take a minute before I actually opened the door. Again, familiar but some how unknown. Things haven't really changed or been moved around, but it is all a bit alien to me. The fridge seems so different. But why? Maybe it's just that it's been cleaned recently.

Glasgow as Home. I knew I never intended to really stay there, at least at this point, beyond these last nine months. Like I posted before, I wasn't immediately taken with Glasgow. I said to my mom the other morning though, as she was telling me about my new mobile contract, that I wondered if could text internationally, because then I could text my friends at home (that would be you guys.) I would never have noticed that is what I had said if she hadn't brought it up. Despite the fact that I have spent two years in Denver, I never would have said something like that about there.

Here's a few things that I've experienced since I've been back.

The Good Ones: The 4 hour drive from Denver to Grand Junction takes you across the Rocky Mountains. Throughout my life I've made this trip hundreds if not thousands of times. I never really do tire of it because it's so beautiful, but over time I had taken the beauty and majesty of the mountains a little for granted. When I drove over them on Monday I saw them with a new set of eyes. Absolutely breath-taking. I must have seen them a little bit like people who are seeing them for the first time. I wish I had pictures, not that that would really do them any justice, but maybe I'll take some this summer and post them for you all to see. Oh the blue skies too. I forgot how blue they could actually be. They have this indescribable quality to them. The stars were out bright and beautiful the other night too. I thought of you Michelle. You should come and visit sometime. My sister has a pretty decent telescope. She's into astrology too. :) My mom's new Mustang convertable is pretty cool. I haven't quite yet mastered the graceful-jump-into-the-back-seat-thing yet, but I'll let you know if I make any progress.

The Slightly Awkward Ones: The sensation that I was actually back on American soil when I got to Chicago was a little uncomfortable. I wasn't sure if I was glad to be American or not, at least an American on American soil. I proceeded out of habit to hand over my passport to every check-point until I reached my gate for my connecting flight to Denver. It took me a while to figure out that the weird looks I was getting were silly-girl-it's-a-domestic-flight-so-you-don't-need-a-passport looks.

Apparently over the last nine months I've forgotten how to put gas (petrol, excuse me) into a car. When I went to put some gas into my mom's car, I required help from the guy working at the station. I've been driving for six years, so you can imagine this was a little embarrassing. He was nice though, so I didn't feel too dumb.

I'm losing the British vocabulary I've learned pretty quickly. You just can't really go around saying 'loo' without people making fun of you. 'Flat' is such a good word too, but again people laugh. I'm a little sad about this. I might hold on to 'rubbish' though. I'll post later about my craic experiment.

Not necessarily awkward, but rather uncomfortable is how hot it is here. It's been around 100F (35ishC). This is not uncommon for Western Colorado in the summer, but not usually until July at least. Plus, I was still carrying a jacket around with me in Glasgow everyday, so the adjustment has been hard. I'm going to go out and buy some cool, summer clothes today so that I don't die.

That's the craic here. What's the craic there?

I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again...

That seems to have been my theme song for the last few weeks,* in part due to the BA commercial and Ailsa. I suppose it is quite appropriate. That is me exactly-- leaving tomorrow on a jet plane and as of now there is no definitive answer as to when I'll be back again. Not to mention the fact that the song was written by John Denver, who lived in Colorado, although was originally not from there and I'm pretty sure his real last name was not Denver, but anyway 'Rocky Mountain High' and all that. Ironicly enough, I believe he died in a plane crash. But on to more important things.

Fuck. It's an ugly word, I know, but it pretty much sums up how I'm feeling about leaving here. Maybe as in 'fuck, this hurts' (I'm think that's a line from the film Garden State). I'm kind of in love with Europe and have been for about eight years. As I was applying to come here, the joke was that I would come here and then never want to go home. I don't know why I'm so suprised that this is going to be so hard. Maybe because I never could have imagined having survived a year without my family. They're amazing by the way, and have given me so much love and support throughout my life, in the good times and difficult. I hope that some of you can meet them someday. I sort of told myself at some point that I'd never spend the holidays without them. Well, you can check that one off the list. I suppose it's all just a part of 'growing up.' Somewhere between September and now I've changed slighly more into an adult. It's kind of a scary thought really. I've changed in more ways than I realize, I'm sure. I imagine the next months and even years will be spent discovering and decifering all of this change. I have lived successfully in a forgeign country though. A lot happens in nine months and sometimes it's easy to forget that life doesn't stand still in one place while you're in another. The home I'm going back to is a changed place too. Again, a scary thought and slight fear of the unknown. I am excited to go back though and catch up on all that has been happening, which is a lot. Just in the last few weeks my sister has graduated from high school and two of my flatmates from last year got engaged within 24 hours of each other. I love them all dearly, and I know that once I am home againI won't be as heartbroken, but right now that heartbreak of leaving here is more intense. How selfish I feel to not be able to fully return my family's excitement of my homecoming. If it were possible, I'd create a common place for my two worlds. But for now, let the party continue on!

Just so you know, I've literally been sick to my stomach over all of this since last Thursday night when I realized that I had only a week left. What an amazing week it's been though! I cannot thank God enough for blessing me with such an amazing group of friends. You have shown me so much love and friendship during these last few months. I do not even have the words to express it. I am sorry that I have not had longer to get to know you, but I hope that we can keep in touch. You're all invited to Colorado anytime and I'll make every effort to meet up with you if you happen to be traveling else where in the States. I for certain that this is where God wanted me this year and he had a reason for wanting this for me. If that reason is nothing other than having met such wonderful, beautiful people, then that is more than enough. I truly am blessed with so much more than I could ever deserve or even imagine.


*However, thanks to Neal, it was 'Last night I nearly died...' that was stuck in my head during my exam yesterday.